limitless_land | 9th Dawn ✯ This will make you ultranumb... [Action/Voice/what have you. T^T]

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9th Dawn ✯ This will make you ultranumb... [Action/Voice/what have you. T^T]

[The buzz from Christmas was still there, but it had begun wearing off fast when there was one particular presence missing from the bed. When he awoke, realizing that the presence was still gone... the first thing he did was pull out the SFC from the bedside drawer to scroll through the names. In doing so, he found a note on top of it.]

[Xion was gone.]

[...Xion... He held his breath, reading that message. Thanking him? ...He didn't deserve her thanks, not with what he later did to her best friend. It's hard to remember even her name now, huh. ...No, he wouldn't forget; never again.]

[After a moment to compose himself, he went ahead with his original plan. Riku scrolled through the list, searching for Kairi's name not just once, not twice, but a total of six times. Nothing...]

[Just like Xion, one of his closest friends was gone, too. In a dazed state he sat up and closed the drawer; hearing a bit of resistance since his eyes were closed to keep back any moisture. ... Opening his eyes, he checked the drawer again to see what was keeping it from closing: two presents small enough to fit in the palm of his hand, one addressed to him and Sora each.]

[...He decided that it would be best to open his in the living room, since Sora was still asleep. ...Lazybones. T^T]

[Riku took a piece of paper with him, writing a small letter to Kairi. Whether he'd be able to give it to her or not if she ever returned or not, he didn't know, but it was better than nothing.]

Kairi,

I never got to properly thank you, for all that you've done here. Don't know if you'll remember or not by the time you read this, but...

Thank you. For being there when I needed you most- when the darkness was so close to my heart that it was becoming hard to see the truth right there before my eyes. When I let it control me again, before I met another friend who's helping me learn to keep it in line.

...And I'm sorry for being weak- for not saying what I should have while you were here. I-

[-I love you, and Sora both. The only family I have left... is never written. Instead, he clutched the good luck charm Kairi had meant to give him on Christmas and that unfinished letter close as he broke down in tears.]

[OOC: This has been backdated to December 29th. Feel free to bug the emo kid via SFC or action.]

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Hee hee...isn't it just?

[And yet it's just too IC for Josh to not divulge a lot of those stories.]

Fine by me. I'll be there in a minute. [And then he cuts the connection.

Not even a minute later, Joshua appears on Riku's bed, lounging on there like he's been there the whole time.]

[Darn you, bro. Darn you. o9]

Alright.

[He's getting incredibly used to the sudden teleporting, but he was just getting a shirt out of the closet ~~he only sleeps in his jeans, dammit. :|~~ when he senses Joshua's presence behind him.]

Forty-two seconds. You're slowing down a little.

[Mwahaha. Love you, too, bro. :3

Joshua just shrugs.]

I decided to take my time today. Wasn't that enough time to get a shirt on, Riku? [Apparently not according to the information his eyes are receiving.]

[He chuckles halfheartedly a bit, slipping said shirt over his head.]

I've been going a little slower than usual as well. [...He's been training in the forest again. :|]

[Still claiming your bed, Riku.]

Can't go about everything at breakneck speed, after all. You'll just wear yourself out. [Being chill grants you longer life!]

How are you doing, by the way?

[Tch. Like he cares right now. Sitting next to now that scars ~~and embarrassing tattoo and other marks~~ are covered up.]

Unless you're like Sora and are on permanent Haste mode. [Or afterlife?]

I've... been better, to be honest. [Half his support system vanishing in one night. It sucks.]

[Excuse him, he's just going to use Riku's lap as a foot rest. His elbow's propped up to support his head to look over at the other silver-haired teen.]

I don't think I'd like to be as hyper as he is. As much fun as it seems to be being high on life, I think I'd get tired of it really fast. [Naturally~]

Fair enough. Want to talk about it? [Then find a temporary replacement until it gets established again.]

[Whatever. ~~Better than a drunk Larxene.~~ He stares at the feet for a moment before meeting his gaze.]

I prefer the sidelines as well. Tends to attract less attention.

[He is.] Kairi's light... It was the main force besides Sora that was keeping me from falling back over the edge again. Now it's out of reach...

Edited 2011-01-13 07:46 (UTC)

[~~A lot of things are better than that.~~]

It's less work for me, to be sure.

Out of reach? Perhaps. It just means you need to find it again. Expand your world, make more connections, and eventually you create a safety net of many people who wish to help and guide you, instead of just one or two pillars. [A light, one shoulder shrug.] But, essentially, it's up to you to make that choice. It's your world, after all. You can choose to expand it or contract it as you wish to. Everyone has different rules for their own world, after all.

Edited 2011-01-13 16:42 (UTC)

[~~She's clinging to me, make it stooop. ;A;~~]

[He chuckles a bit at that comment, then listens closely. ...Dammit, that was part of his problem. He's been trying to reach out, but there are just a handful that he can truly say he trusts enough to lean on when times get hard.]

Sounds like you've had to give this kind of talk once or twice before.

[~~You're on your own, dude! D:~~

Joshua shrugs nonchalantly as he crosses one foot over the other, perfectly comfortable, now.]

Whether I have or have not isn't entirely relevant. If you want my opinion, then I think that closing yourself off will, in the end, hurt and hinder you more than making connections. But, again, it's your choice. Like the tarot cards, I can only give you advice, and what you do with the advice is all up to you.

[~~Sooooob TT^TT~~

He's trying, really he is, but it's still hard. But... he has opened up somewhat. Riku leans back on his elbows, staring up at the ceiling. He doesn't respond right away, mulling it over in his mind. It's been difficult to open his heart since... yeah.]

I know you're right, but... [A sigh.] The last time I opened up to another, I lost myself.

[Oh hey, Joshua. He just opened up to you enough to admit that part.]

[And Joshua's just going to lie down, using his hands to pillow his head in addition to the softer one Riku has. He shrugs, but he does see that it must be difficult for him to admit that.]

Opening up is hard because you need to find that middle ground of trust and suspicion. Connecting with others puts your heart on the line. Not many people take the risk after a terrible experience.

I suppose the questions you ask yourself when confronted with another person is something along the lines of, "Is it worth it? What are their motives for acquainting themselves with me?" And the all-important question of, "Will they hurt or let me down again?"

Connecting with and opening up to other people is hard since one person is different from the next, and some constantly change. It's impossible to understand people completely, but we try anyway. Try to understand their world, why they think or act the way they do. With each person we try to understand, we take a leap of faith, hoping that he or she is someone you can trust, someone who won't betray you.

[This isn't insight from some regular kid. Perhaps Riku will notice that what Joshua is saying is coming from someone far older than what he appears to be, someone who has seen things and been around the block for longer than normal humans can. It's his only hint, the only thing he will share, that he's something more than a teenager.]

[It is, especially after what's happened the last few months in this bubble. Riku listens again silently, not making a single utterance. Though, he does fidget slightly at the last question, reaching out his hand in front of him and staring at it in the air. It was days like this he missed being that little kid who'd trusted Terra with his dreams and wishes.]

'No borders around, below or above so long as you champion the ones you love...'

[He's pondering those words, the hidden wisdom of Joshua's, and trying to silence the words echoing in the darkness of his own heart. "You don't deserve it." "How many have you hurt since then? How many lives ruined because of what YOU did?" It stings, but then like a silent reminder, Way to the Dawn flashes into existence again.

"It's wielder you shall one day be..."

A faint smile.]

You missed one question: "Can I trust myself not to hurt them, or even face them in the first place?"

[He does a single swing in the air before dismissing the Key, resting his forearm over his eyes.]

... Just how many years have you been watching humanity struggle and clash, Joshua? [It was something he'd been wondering since day one, and he smirks faintly. Perhaps this kittyhound's nose was too sharp for his own good~]

Edited 2011-01-18 01:00 (UTC)

[He nods, giving him that.]

That's a question only you can answer. To find it, you'll need to assess yourself and let others who know you decide as well.

[Joshua watches it all, and then smirks in amusement. How long indeed? He didn't expect Riku to take so long in asking the question, but that was perhaps out of politeness' sake.]

All my life. What makes you think it was longer, Riku?

[He nods back, keeping his eyes concealed behind his forearm.]

Yeah...

[A faint smirk crosses Riku's lips. Oh, it was politeness. Partially, anyway. The other? Well, that was a secret a few others already found out. Damn you, Muraki.]

And afterlife, perhaps? [He lifts up his arm to glance at Joshua, gauging his reaction.] Your presence. It's living, yet it isn't. And of those I've met so far like that, you're one of the stronger scents.

[Ah, so he does know. How interesting. Joshua's expression remains the same, though...it might be that there's more genuine amusement, now.]

Quite the nose you've got. But you're right. As far as you're all aware of, I'm alive, but technically I'm dead. I've been dead for a long time.

[Joshua shrugs.]

And yet I can still be killed. Ironic, isn't it? However, I can say that erasure is the true end of the line for those in my world. Though, I'm different in that I can be killed and erased.

[That's all he's going to reveal on himself. Can't go around saying he's the Composer of Shibuya and what his true role is, after all.]

[Riku just let him talk. To be honest, he wasn't too concerned with the role Joshua played in his home world, nor the fact that he was dead. After all, existence is existence.]

A curse and a blessing, really.

[He shrugged, listening to the brief explanation of how existence worked in Shibuya. Killed and erased, huh. Interesting.]

Fate has always had a sense of irony about it, probably why I fight it so much.

[A smirk for your troubles. He can't exactly say his full role in what's happened in the past, either.]

I can imagine. You seem to like being in the shades of grey, even with your heightened sense of smell.

[At least there aren't any Noise around here.]

It's fun to watch people fight their supposed "destinies." Though, in the end, I believe we all struggle with whatever the Fates have in store for us. Even "ordinary" people in subtle ways are faced with this struggle: to submit to their fate or to fight it and change the outcome.

[And the dead are no different.]

I can't deny either side; they're both half of what I am in the end.

[At least there aren't any Heartless here.]

... Probably. [Possession, man. Possession. He almost mentioned it.]

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9th Dawn ✯ This will make you ultranumb... [Action/Voice/what have you. T^T]

[Video]

[Action forever, bb? <3]

[Forever and ever~]

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